Change

*These are thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head, I like the thought of journaling, but never seem to sit down to write. So I am using this space to write out my thoughts. This is where I'm at...

Do you ever feel an unsettling feeling? You know that change, big change is coming, but you are completely in the dark to what that may be. I've been feeling that way for the last few months. Those of you who know me well are probably rolling your eyes and thinking 'Oh Lord,what is she going to do now?' Some may chalk it up to be that I'm a crazy hormonal nursing mama of four...that may be true, that I am impulsive...that may be true, that I'm not a content person...that may be true as well, but not for reasons that you may think. I do not feel content, living my privileged American life while a great number of the worlds population are going to bed hungry, cold, without a home, without clean water, without health care, used, beaten, sold...the list goes on. If I'm cold I flip a switch and the heat comes on, if I thirst I turn on the faucet and can drink clean water to my hearts content, if I'm hungry I open the fridge and eat until I am stuffed, if I'm feeling lazy I can go through a drive through and have a hot meal within minutes, when I am sick I can go to the store and buy medicine, if I need to get to the store, I hop in my car (that if sold could feed a village for a year) and am there within minutes.

Learn to do right. Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. Isaiah 1:17 As a follower of Jesus, as a mother, as a human being...this verse makes me called to change. To do what I can to make a difference. Yes, I do want to change the world. Yes, I know we live in brokenness and it won't be fixed until Jesus comes back, but until that day comes whether it's tomorrow, next month, in ten years, in a thousand years, I want to be actively seeking Gods peace and justice, being his hands and feet here on earth, serving Him through helping His people.

There is a very real part of me that wants to stuff this uneasiness down, go buy an extra large coffee and forget that I feel this way. To save up and buy the dream house, to go to the fancy stores and buy the trendiest clothes, to taste the finest cuisine, to decorate my house to perfection, but what purpose would this serve? Surely this would not be growing the fruits of the spirit in my life. But what does? Should I sell our possessions and move to Africa? Central America? Be a missionary? What do I want to be doing when Jesus comes back? Who am I serving? Am I being obedient? Oh the questions.

Yes, change is coming. Maybe next week, maybe in a year, but it is coming.... I can feel it.